|When it comes to Gossip Girl is it a case of California here we come? An open letter to Gossip Girl.
||[May. 21st, 2009|09:10 am]
Hey Upper East Siders,
Gossip Girl viewer here, I would love to say that I have a scoop for you, but I feel what I'm about to say is something we all know already. Gossip Girl, we love you. The clothes! The bitchiness! The fantasy that this is our life! But, alas Gossip Girl I've grown tired of you, sort of how Serena got tired of you. We've had some good times this season, there was that summer in the Hamptons! And, the weekend trip to Yale! Remember Fashion Week!
Well if you don't recall those wonderful moments, it may be because it was so long ago, and so much else has gone on that you've just let it slip out of your mind. But, I would never forget about our good times GG, I lived for them! But now? The kids involved in a Madoff scheme, Jenny dropping out of school and let's not even mention Jack Bass the Jackass have made me say OMFG WTF is her problem? Gossip Girl your story lines were so much fun because they were full of glamour and fantasy, what if this could be our high school life, what if while I was riding mass transit to school I was wearing Valentino instead of my uniform. But, never in my four years did I hope to take down an fuax heiress or live in some Brooklyn slum and have some crazy bitch burn all of my earthly possessions in a trash can fire. When you stopped showing my fantasy life, the honeymoon ended.
Somewhere between Jenny's fashion show and her Sweet Sixteen you dropped the ball, maybe it was because of how eager we were for what you had to offer, we wanted as much Gossip Girl as possible. And, you rightfully tried your hardest and gave us 25 episodes. And, by my count if you skip from where things started going down hill to where they picked up you would have 15 - 18 episodes putting you on par with the amount you gave us last season. But, I still love you, so let's talk about your missteps so you can fix them.
Let's start with your cast, I love the main six... Sometimes I like Vanessa. The rest of the cast is pretty likable too, but you never play them consistently and you expect not to notice. You so frequently mention small details that you know we will notice, so why do you think we're so dumb that we won't notice that Headmistress Queller was at onetime played by one lady and now played by a different lady. You couldn't make her the assistant Headmistress or the new Headmistress? You had to slide in a new actress into the same role, this isn't Becky on Roseanne. We could have had a new character. Also, we all hated Aaron Rose, he was like Dan Humphrey:the Sequel. He was more boring, more indie hipster, so we hated him. Especially for our it-girl Serena! But, why wouldn't he be at Passover? I mean it would have been great to see him there, making things even worse for Serena and Dan. The idea that we never saw him once, even though he is Blair's brother is ridiculous!
Finally, and most importantly what is going on with the Girls who eat lunch on the Steps? At first there were two, Kati & Iz. We moved one to the Middle East, and added four more. We dropped one of them immediately or four episodes but who is counting? When we arrived at Constance for our first day we saw a new girl. Her brother was a college guy and she came from money. She was played so inconsistently I almost forgot about her... Last time we heard from her, she wore leggings as pants as Blair almost cut her tongue out. But no one Mean Girl was played more sporadically than Hazel. For God sakes she was at Prom but not Graduation. I mean clearly she picked the more important event socially, but come on? Now some of these casting errors may not be your fault. Headmistress Queller may have died, Hazel could be filming a movie. But, not all of them can be accidents... and even if you cannot control them, you could offer an explanation.
While we're on the cast... I said I loved the main six and I meant that. But, I do have one bone to pick. What is going on with Chuck? Okay, I loved him last season when he was a womanizer who dabbled in recreational drug use. However, this Chuck 2.0 we have who has a P.I. on retainer, shops for hookers on some sort of an international database and is constant whisper talking? He is not okay. He is sometimes in the same category as Vanessa.I mean Ed Westwick we love you, and when you started talking in that whisper voice in the bedroom it made us quiver. But, now when you use that whisper voice at a party or on the phone? It makes us shutter in disgust. I know you're the richest teen in Manhattan, but you would not be flying in hookers from around the world. There were scenes this season that if sewed together it would look like if you took the Disney World attraction It's a Small World and moved it to a bordello. He's a rich, good looking kid who is popular in high school. He would not be paying for sex. Ever.
Moving on, let's focus now on what almost made us change the channel to see what most people are watching on Monday nights. These ridiculous plot lines. I can buy kids having a party in a bar, going to clubs, never being in class, etc. Because, I want to believe that. No matter how hard I try though, I just cannot wrap my mind around some of the things you tried to tell me this season. Jenny moving out of the loft and moving to some crack den in a bad area of Brooklyn? Someone that young who only knew gentrified Williamsburg would not be able to cut it. Plus hello? Rufus so would have called the cops when she moved out and had her dragged back to their home. There was an entire three episode arc where Dan was sleeping with a teacher, they were in a play, Blair lost Yale. All of it was unrealistic. And worse? All of it was completely so not interesting. I did not care about one of those story lines. And, finally that whole thing with Poppy stealing money and stuff? What high school kids would be involved in that? Would they even care? It was so dumb. I understand that you were trying to move away from high school, since the end of the season marked the end of that time in our cast's lives. But, instead of trying to move away from high school and failing. Why wouldn't you just embrace high school for as long as you had it. Some of the best scenes from the show's run take place on the school campus. It allowed all of our characters to be together organically. Plus, some of Leighton Meester's best scenes ever are when she is at school with her minions.
I'm not attacking you Gossip Girl, consider this me calling you on making out with a 4 when you deserve a 9. I want you to know what you did was bad, maybe embarrass you a little bit in hopes of helping you learn from your mistakes. Find some background cast members without commitment issues, like the wonderful Amanda Setton or Matthew Settle. Reevaluate where Chuck is headed and where he is. Maybe reunite him with his scarf and basis in reality. And finally, keep it normal. Show us college age kids, dealing with college aged drama. It's not hard to take something normal and glam it up or make it bigger. Just nip the unrealistic stuff in the bud, sorry if that means Dan can't run for mayor or Blair can't enter menopause next season or whatever dumb idea you had about the kids pretending to be adults. Follow these suggestions and rediscover your niche that we loved so much last season and earlier this season and you'll be back on track to be Beverly Hills 90210 and not The OC.